Dreaming of Sleep
We all dream of winning the PowerBall.
But most nights, we’re just dreaming of sleep.
Real, uninterrupted, fall-asleep-without-negotiating-with-the-ceiling sleep.
Between the four of us, we’ve lived through:
✨80-hour work weeks
✨endless travel
✨babies, kids, and teens who don’t sleep
✨aging parents
✨brains that won’t turn off
✨perimenopause and menopause
✨red wine regrets (sometimes margaritas)
So when we talk about sleep, it’s not theoretical.
It’s from years of lying awake thinking, why is this so hard?
If restless sleep or insomnia is new to you — welcome.
It might be stress.
It might be hormones.
It might be the state of the world.
(It might be all three.)
What we learned the slow way is this:
Not all bad sleep is the same.
And the fix depends on which kind you’re dealing with.
When You Can’t Fall Asleep
This is the exhausted but wired version.
Usually, it’s a nervous system issue — too much light, too much heat, too much stimulation, or too many thoughts about tomorrow.
What doesn’t help? Forcing sleep.
What does help is letting your body feel safe enough to stop performing.
Things that actually help:
⬛ Darken the bedroom (blackout curtains, cover device lights, hide the alarm clock)
📱 Leave your phone in another room
🎶 White noise, a fan, or steady background sound (sleep music, stories)
🛋️ Don’t watch shows in bed — go to bed when you’re tired, not just “because it’s time”
🚿 Take a hot shower about an hour before bed
🆒 Keep the room cool (roughly 60–67°F)
Think less “perfect routine,” more remove obstacles.
When You Fall Asleep… Then Wake Up at 2–4am
This one surprises people — and shows up a lot during perimenopause and menopause.
Hormones, stress, and alcohol (yes, even “just one glass”) all play a role.
That wake-up isn’t you failing at sleep.
It’s biology doing its thing.
What can help reduce night wakings:
📋 Make a quick list before bed of anything you’re worried you’ll forget
💧 Stay hydrated throughout the day
🍃 Wear breathable sleepwear to reduce night sweats
🏋️ Move your body during the day (even a 30-minute walk or gentle yoga)
💊 HRT - you can’t fight hormones
This isn’t about doing more.
It’s about supporting a body that’s changing.
When You Wake Up and Can’t Fall Back Asleep
This is the cruelest version.
The instinct is to lie there, replaying everything and negotiating with the ceiling.
But if you’re awake for 20 minutes or more, what actually helps is getting up — briefly.
Not because it’s productive.
Because it breaks the anxiety loop.
Low-effort things that help:
🧺 Fold laundry or prep lunches
💅 File your nails or do a face mask
📖 Read a paper book or magazine (nothing suspenseful)
🧘 Stretch slowly on your yoga mat
☕ Set up the coffee maker so morning you is grateful
📋 Make a grocery list or jot down tomorrow’s tasks
🕯️ Keep the lights low.
No scrolling. No solving world problems. Then try again.
The Takeaway
We’re not sleep experts.
We’re can’t-sleep experts who’ve been tired for decades and stopped blaming ourselves.
What finally helped wasn’t one magic trick.
It was understanding that sleep is environmental, hormonal, and human.
Cooler rooms.
Lower light.
Less pressure.
More compassion.
If sleep feels hard right now, you're not alone.
Sweet dreams.
XOXO,
Your sisters at Midnighties
